When Partners Travel

A million bees buzz through my head.  I don't know up from down these days.  Everyday brings things new and my heart is bathed in waves of anxiety leaving me drenched.  I am soaked through.

I keep coming back to newness.  Re-center, re-focus.  I am always looking for God in my life.  In moments that come quickly and pass at lightening speed.  I need God in my life.  I need the Lord.

My nephew Dalton and I had a conversation about the little things in life.  The concept of the Lord making big things out of our lives, when we are diligent and faithful to Him in the small.  Dalton does not like school.  He is picking up the slack of his previous years and like every other child in the world, he doesn't want to do the work.  It's boring.  There are too many distractions.  He is so behind, that his goals seem unreachable.

I know the feeling.

There are days that I would rather challenge someone to a fist fight than get out of bed to take my kids to school.  I am so frustrated with life that I would rather organize a closet than visit my mom for the 30th day in the hospital. Answer emails? No. Take calls?  Absolutely not. Contribute to society? You've got to be kidding me. The thought of meeting my kids for lunch at the loudest school cafeteria in the history of America makes me crazy.  I am just done with anyone that does not meet up to my selfish expectations.  

I am done.

No, I am not done.  I am a work in progress.  I am working on it.  My husband gets home tomorrow and that is one small step for mankind. Get over yourself, Allison.  You need to shut your mouth.  No, you do.