Update on Mom. . .

An update on mom after her hemorrhagic stroke in April. . .

I haven't given an update recently on mom and many of you have emailed me asking how she is doing.  I apologize.  I am not ignoring you, this is just an utterly difficult time.  

Mom is doing much better physically.  She walks assisted with a cane, and honestly can get around pretty well without it.  She is still a bit wobbly on occasion, and it is there just in case.  Her balance is much better, but falls inevitably happen.  Her strength is up, and she has learned how to break her own fall.  Falls are happening less and less, and she is quite proud of this.

She has been very sick over the last 2 weeks.  Her immune system is not the strongest, and until the last few days, she has been in bed everyday, missing her daily rehabilitation.  She normally goes everyday for four or five hours.  Thankfully, mom began feeling much better once we realized exactly what her symptoms are.  She has a difficult time explaining what hurts, where it hurts, and how bad.  Things that used to be easy to explain are frustratingly difficult for her to communicate.  She knows she should know how to tell us, but she just can't get it out.

Mentally, her progress is slower.  This is the difficult part for us and what I am asking you to pray for.   She is just not who she used to be.  She gets very fixated on certain things and frustrated when what she is trying to say does not communicate exactly what she would like it to.  She has a very low level of understanding and interacting currently.  For example, when she joins in on conversations, it is immediately clear that she does not quite understand what is being talked about.  She gets upset over things that are not really happening.  It is so strange to see my mom this way.

Please pray for her.  This is very difficult.  My dad is working diligently to help rehabilitate her while working to support her and love her at the same time.  I am so proud of him.  He works harder than anyone I know, from sun up until sun down, and this must be the most painful for him.  It rips me apart, that is for sure.

I know many of my friends are going through things that are difficult right now.  This life can be so confusing.  I want The Lord to make sense of things for me.  I get too down sometimes when I should fix my eyes on Him.  He has given me such a rich sense of family and the weight of this is overwhelming.  I stumbled upon this scripture last week, and I relate to the pain David must have felt and his desire for the Lord to intervene while he wrote these words. . .

Psalm 51:8-17

Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 

Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.  

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.  

Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.  

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.  

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God will not despise.  

I am doing my best to talk to God during all of this.  Stay in communication.  It is heavy on my heart all of the time.  Please hang on right now.  If you are pressing through something difficult, keep pressing through.  We gain strength from one another.  Lean in to the Lord.  

Thank you for loving her.  I always read her your notes and they make her happy.  She misses her friends, and looks forward to visiting with all of you again.  

And to my friends who listen to me whine and complain, you are the bomb.  It may not seem like I'm sparing you volumes, but seriously, I've got enough for a lifetime of professional counseling sessions.  I actually had that before my mom had the stroke.  You are welcome.  

Allison